"I Feel Like We're Just Parents"

That's what I said to Dave the other night as we were on our way to bed after finally putting the last boy to bed. 

I feel like we are just parents.  Like all we do is make breakfast...send kids to take a break...mediate battles over who gets to play with the pink train and who gets to play with the red train...wipe bottoms...dole out medicine...make lunch...put kids down for naps...nurse...change diapers...rock fussy babies...bundle up restless boys to expend excessive energy...attempt to convince a certain three year old that yes, he is loud and no, he doesn't need to be...reading books before bedtime...tucking kids into bed...re-tucking kids into bed...getting up in the middle of the night to soothe a screaming 3 year old...climbing into bed with said three year old to keep him from screaming all night long. 

Let me tell you though.  We are ROCKIN' the doing-this-as-a-team thing.  We're taking turns, dividing responsibility and calming each other down when we hit our done point. 

But I miss being girlfriend and boyfriend.

I'm afraid we're succombing to marital laziness.

I know we're just in a very intense period of parenting right now, but I have a nagging feeling that that is an excuse.  I have heard myself thinking, When all the kids are sleeping and I'm not nursing as much, we'll have time to be together.  We'll just have to wait until then.  But ohhhh.....oh dear.  Sure, I don't think there's anything wrong with allowing that for a season, but how easy is it to allow that season to drag on and on and on and to continually find reasons to put off romance UNTIL.  There's always SOMETHING, isn't there? 

I wrote about being intentional in friendship.  This goes for every relationship, really, including marriage.  Paul Tripp writes in his book What Did You Expect? that "your marriage may be good, but it is never safe." 

So.  We're pushing through the tiredness tonight.  Tonight, we're ignoring the desire to simply throw on sweat pants and pour a glass of wine while we watch whatever mind-numbing television show we can find until it's time for Isaac's last feeding and we crawl under the covers.  Tonight we're going on a date.  We're leaving all three kids with a non-relative babysitter for the first time tonight.  Tonight, I'm wearing heels, makeup, jewelry and perfume.  Tonight we're not going to talk about how Isaac is becoming a lazy latcher and making my nipples sore or how I snuck into Noah's room to check his bottom for pinworms with a flashlight for three nights in a row (uh, yeah..that's another post) or how the watercolors that I let the boys do today soaked into the granite countertops (NOT supposed to happen, RIGHT???).  As the Chief Domestic Officer of this home, I'm going off the clock, at least mentally.  Tonight, I'm girlfriend again. 

Tonight I'm with my friend.  I'm with my buddy.  My love.