Products You Don't Really Need For Your Baby

Subtitle: But Baby Companies Want You To THINK You Need

This all started when I was in Target yesterday picking up the last few things for the baby and the hospital and I noticed these:

I'm labeling these as my #1 Unnecessary Product for Babies.  Let's face it: we all know we live in a consumeristic society where companies create random products to generate revenue.  I could come up with a whole other list of items I think are completely unnecessary for life (pre-cut aluminum foil? Really? Is it that hard to tear a sheet of aluminum foil?) For now, here are the rest of the products that, while they may make some people's lives easier, really aren't a necessary expense. 

So, pacifier wipes.  Why?  Because we all know babies lose their pacifiers and they land on the floor and Lord knows what's on the floor.  But, I ask you, what happened to rinsing it in plain old water?  And if you really think about it, how high are the chances of there being a deathly illness - say, smallpox - on the pacifier that landed on the floor for a whole 5 seconds?  Your kids are going to get sick; do you really want to try to trace it back to that one time the pacifier fell on the floor and it didn't get sanitized? I would include Boogie Wipes along with pacifier wipes. 

2) Wipes warmers: When you first look at these, you think "Oh yeah, that makes sense.  Who wants a cold wet wipe on their behind?  Those poor babies!!"  But really...no.  First of all, you have to have space on your already overcrowded changing table to plug it in.  Second of all, they dry out the bottom half of the wipes.  Thirdly, come on...the baby will survive a brief cool sensation without too much trauma. 

3) Baby spas: Yes, they really make them.  I give you Exhibit A:

Yes, that is a jetted, footed tub for an infant.  Let me treat you to the manufacturer's description: "The Summer Infant Soothing Baby Spa & Shower - Spa Ducks makes bath time safe, fun and relaxing for babies and parents. Parents can rinse baby with clean, warm water from a motorized jet showerhead as baby relaxes and plays in the whirlpool bath. This soothing spa relaxes nervous first-time parents and fussy babies."  And there's the key: "nervous first time parents".  Frankly, it would make me more nervous to get the whole thing set up and working properly. 

4) Sleep movement monitors: 

I understand the rationale behind this one.  We're all a little scared of having a baby die from SIDS.  Every mom has jumped up out of bed to make sure her little one is still breathing.  But this thing would make me insane.  Apparently, you position the mat underneath the mattress (or baby?) and if the baby doesn't move for a specified amount of time, an alarm goes off. 

5) Bottle sanitizers:  Guess what?  You can put bottles in your dishwasher!!!  And they will get clean.  I promise you. Oh and bottle warmers too.  Contrary to what the baby books say, you can actually warm up your bottles in the microwave, or you can just mix formula with warm water. 

6) Shopping cart covers: Like this one:

Looks like fun, doesn't it?  Grocery shopping is stressful, isn't it?  Trust me, I know.  The idea of something for the kid to play with while shopping sounds great.  Here's the problem:  it quickly becomes just one more thing to carry into the grocery store.  And again, we're back to the paranoia about germs.  It seems to me that even if you cover up the germs on the cart, the germs are still going to get onto the cart cover, which the mom is then eventually going to transfer to the child since she's the one handling the germy cart cover.

7) Diaper bags: This may be a controversial one.  My problem with them is 1) you spend the same amount on them as you would on a purse, 2) you either carry around both a purse and a diaper bag or you succumb to carrying your wallet thrown into the diaper bag and 3) the stuff you really need fits into a big, cute purse, which is what's in style right now anyway.  Really, when you leave the house to go grocery shopping, all you need is 1-2 diapers, a travel pack of wipes, a burp cloth, an extra outfit, maybe a pacifier, maybe a toy.  All of that fits in a purse.

8) Babyfood makers:
People, this particular baby food maker retails for no less than EIGHTY-SIX dollars.  The one that Williams-Sonoma sells costs $149.99.  Throw some veggies in a microwave.  Use a food processor.  It does the same thing.

9) Mittens.  You know, the ones they sell along with the onesies to keep the infants from scratching themselves?  Hey, you can try them, but in my experience, you'll probably make yourself crazy trying to keep them on.  They are tiny and they will get lost and the baby will still find an ingenious way to scratch their face.  Don't worry, the scratches on their face are only really bothering you in an aesthetic way.  They aren't going to actually claw their eyes out with fingernails that tiny.

10) I could probably come up with a whole bunch more, but I'll stop with this one.  Baby bath robes.  Every new mom gets one at her baby shower, I suppose because they look cute.  But really?  Who has the time or energy to dry the baby off in a towel, wrangle their teeny tiny arms into a bathrobe, unwrangle their teeny tiny arms, then re-wrangle them into actual clothing? 

Alright, then.  Agree? Disagree? Anyone have anything to add?

The Question

The checkout counter was getting filled up with sample sizes of shampoo, lotion, toothpaste, and contact solution, along with onesies (to replace the incredibly stained ones that had somehow escaped my notice), nursing pads, and lanolin.


"Getting ready for the hospital?" asked the store clerk with a glance at my 35 week pregnant belly.


"Yeah, I figured being four weeks out means I should think about packing a bag."


"What are you having this time?" she asked.


"Another boy."


"Ohhhh...." (sympathetically, because, of course, a woman without a daughter is pitied)


And then it happened. The question. The one I hate. The one I'm going to publically answer for the blogosphere but generally think should be a question only open to close friends and family.


"So, are you getting fixed after this one?"


I'm sorry, what?!?!?!


How does one answer that question to a total stranger?


"No, I feel like you need a high degree of certainty to make a permanent decision like that, and I don't have that." That's what I said. And then I was treated to the information that she herself was "fixed". Really? Did I need to know this about a total stranger?


This is the question that I dread, mostly because I think whatever answer one gives will inevitably be met with strong opinions and/or reactions. There are those who are shocked that women as young as myself (or younger) would consider "permanently" ending the childbearing years. There are those who feel it should never be a decision at all, and that it is unbiblical for parents to control the number of children they have. And, on the other side of the coin, there are also those who are shocked when you don't choose to get "fixed". 


Take for example the receptionist who scheduled my third c-section. I had already been asked by the doctor if I was getting my tubes tied and had received absolutely no reaction or commentary to my response. He simply jotted a note on my chart.  However, when this woman heard that we were ONLY scheduling a c-section, her jaw dropped and her eyes popped open.


"But, this is your THIRD c-section!?!? That's a LOT."


I smiled politely and silently wondered how much further her jaw would have dropped had I told her I was the oldest of six children all born via c-section to the same woman. Yes, ma'am, I'm aware of the risks.


Weird, on both occasions.  Neutral opinions and neutral facial expressions are always best when discussing such a sensitive and personal topic.

Also, can we not refer to it as being "fixed"?  I'm not a dog.

Vegetables Officially Don't Scare Me Anymore

Well, ok, I was never all that terrified of vegetables.  I've always kind of liked most of them.  However, for a long time, I just never knew what to do with them.  I've always generally just bought bags of frozen veggies or steamed the staples - broccoli, green beans and carrots.  I could handle sauteeing summer squash and I ventured into the world of winter squash a few times but was somewhat put off by how sore my arm would get trying to cut a butternut squash.  I generally stayed in the area of the produce section near the lettuce, cucumbers and baby carrots. 

But no longer.  I have ventured out of my comfort zone.  Partipating in a farm share has officially cured me from my boring vegetable cooking rut.  Ladies and gentlemen, I can now make the following things:

Turnips - roasted with olive oil and a special roast vegetable seasoning found in TJMaxx

Beets - roasted with olive oil, salt and pepper

Spaghetti squash - cut in half, roasted upside down until tender, scrape out the stringy part, toss with olive oil, parmesan and garlic powder then broil until the cheese melts.

Carnival squash - roasted right side up with butter, brown sugar and maple syrup

Butternut squash - roasted with salt, pepper and slices of bacon on top

Eggplant - sliced in circles, dipped in egg, then dipped in a mixture of breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese and baked for about 20 minutes

Mustard greens - cut up some bacon and sauteed with onions and minced garlic; added greens and chicken broth and cooked until wilted.

Purple cauliflower - made a gratin with a great cheese sauce

Kohlrabi - roasted with turnips (this one was weird.  I wouldn't necessarily try it again.)

Zucchini - baked with diced tomatoes, basil and mozzarella on top

I will now venture into the "obscure" vegetable area in the produce department.  I know what those things are.  I can identify them.  After cooking up the mustard greens last night, I also saved a whole bunch of turnip greens to try because now I'm a brave cook.  Do you know how cool it makes me feel to know how to cook these things?  Very. 

If you don't have a garden, don't have a place for a garden, don't have the skills to keep plants alive (like ME!), I highly recommend trying a farm share.  Sure, you can also just go down to the local farm market and buy what you want, but if you want a challenge and some accountability for eating more veggies (because seriously, if you're paying for it all upfront, chances are you're going to be highly motivated to not let food go to waste), do the farm share thing.  Go to http://www.localharvest.org/, enter your zipcode and see what options turn up in your area.  Do it.

Heading Off the Freak Out

One of the perks of having two pregnancies under your belt is that you know what's coming. In the sickly, tiring first trimester, you survive knowing there's energy coming in the second trimester.  You know there's heartburn coming, so you stock up on Tums and Prilosec.  You know it's going to get uncomfortable to sleep, so you buy a pregnancy wedge pillow so it's ready to go.  During both my pregnancies, I reached a point where it hit me that, "Oh my gosh, I'm having a baby and life is about to get crazy!!"  And I started panicking about the stress I knew was coming.  Thus far, I have yet to freak out...and I have only 32 days left until my c-section (Nov 21). 

I read a great post yesterday over at The Better Mom blog:
                                                                           
It talked about strategies that one mom uses to combat her worry.  One of the verses she posted has been a verse that has popped into my head before every childbirth.  I think I need to remind myself of my theme verses NOW, before I ever start to freak out.  Hopefully, they will be edifying to you as well.
 
Philippians 4:5-6 ~ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 1:17 ~ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  (God is sovereign and will hold my crazy life together.)

2 Peter 1:3 ~ His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  (When I think I can't handle the stress, I can remember that God has already given me everything I need to approach every single situation.)

James 1:5 ~ If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (Again, when I think I have no idea what to do in any given parenting situation, whether it's a crying newborn in the middle of the night or a demanding four year old, all I need to do is ask God for the wisdom to know what to do.  He always provides wisdom to those who ask for it.)

And then...for a non-scriptural coping strategy, I'm going to remember Rachel Jancovic's "Rule of Twenty" (from her book Loving the Little Years).  When things get crazy, look at the clock.  This craziness, right now, will all be over in 20 minutes. 

Deep breath...here we go.

8 Years Ago Today...

Well, today's attempt to break the writer's block is a total no-brainer. 

Today is Dave and I's 8 year wedding anniversary. 

8 years of marriage.

2 apartments, one with a rag-tag assembly of newlywed furniture

(Almost) 3 houses.

(Almost) 3 kids.

1 trip to Scotland.

1 loss of a grandparent

2 years of hard struggles that ended only due to the grace of God.

4 beach vacations, 1 mountain getaway to the snootiest bed and breakfast ever, 4 happy family vacations to Deep Creek Lake in Maryland, numerous romantic getaways to fun locations.

Job changes: expansion of a real estate career, the searching for and eventual ending of a teaching career.

Beginning of ministry opportunities together - this is our second year apprenticing to be community group leaders and the first year of being involved in the third alternative service at church.

Running 10Ks "together"

Family crises with lots of tears.

Fun times with lots of laughter.

Looking forward to what's ahead.

Drive-By Book Reviews

Idea #2 of my uninspired mind: Mini-book reviews of what I've read recently.  I must confess that I'm slightly stealing this idea from a blog friend. 

Here's what I've read along with what I thought about them, for better and for worse.

1) Loving The Little Years - Rachel Jancovic

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

This book is sort of written in a vignette-style; it's like getting expresso shots of parenting wisdom from a mom in the thick of things.  Rachel Jancovic has 5 little, little kids and unlike the feeling you get from some other parenting books, she gets it.  She's not that woman in church who looks at you like you're crazy while herding wild balls of energy around the sanctuary and then says something like, "Gosh, my kids never did that." (Yes, they did, lady...I'm looking forward to that selective memory).  It's a good mix of honest relating-to-you and yet a challenge to do better as moms.   

2) How Children Raise Parents - Dan Allender

Rating:  2 out of 5 stars
I'm only giving it 2 stars because I did actually underline a few things, but otherwise, I really - REALLY - did not care for this book at all (sorry to those of you who recommended it and enjoyed it).  Although I appreciate the author's point that we need to listen to the voice of our children and that raising children will grow our character as individuals, the only reason I got the point was because those sentences were repeated often.  Otherwise, I thought the vast majority of the book was heavy on the negativity, light on the cohesiveness and rife with simplistic overgeneralizations.  Not my favorite parenting book.

3) The Mission of Motherhood - Sally Clarkson

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
I picked this one up because I've heard it mentioned frequently as being used in various Christian mom book clubs and a friend and I were considering using it for discussion in a women's small group that we'll be starting in January.  I'm torn about it.  I thoroughly agreed with Clarkson's argument for traditional motherhood as God's model for the family (and I can certainly see that it will challenge the thinking of career moms).  Her description of our high calling as mothers is inspiring and has made me realize that there is much more to motherhood than simply surviving the day.  However, having a perfectionistic tendency and reading descriptions of amazing excursions into Austria (their family lived abroad as part of ministry life) and deep philosophical conversations she had with her children left me feeling slightly overwhelmed and inadequate.  I would recommend this one, but with a caution to not getting bogged down thinking anything you do as a mother is somehow not as good as what Sally Clarkson was able to offer her children.

4) Respectable Sins - Jerry Bridges

Rating:  5 out of 5 stars

After reading three parenting books, I needed something different and this is awesome.  I'm still in the middle of it but I have to recommend it.  Bridges presents the idea that most Christians have lost the awareness of sin as well as a sense of how bad sin really is.  He argues that the reason we have lost this sense is because while most of us do not commit the sins that we consider horribly scandalous (at least not on a regular basis), we tolerate a whole host of other sins.  If you pick this one up, prepare to be challenged.  I've been convicted of many things that I have simply excused as normal human reactions to life, such as frustration, discontentment, anxiety, impatience, etc.  Highly recommended.

So there you go.  If you need something to make you think, there's a few options.  Happy reading!

Uninspired

Writer's block. I think I have writer's block.  Can you have writer's block if you're "just" a blogger?  I think it comes from being 34 weeks pregnant and very...VERY...tired.  I went through a long stretch where I was blogging 3-4 days a week, doing a bunch of link-up days, responding to comments, reading and commenting on other blogs, but now?  Now I think about blogging and all that comes to my mind is how my hips are sore when I try to sleep, I have to take a nap every day or I can barely function as a mother, napping every day leads to not sleeping at night and oh yes, the heartburn.  I'm not sure that's terribly interesting reading.  I have a few ideas for posts this week.  Today you get Idea #1: House pictures. 

Dining Room - mirrors are a "look for less" idea based on a set from Ballard Designs.

Kitchen into family room

Family room into kitchen; playroom/exercise room on the right

Playroom/exercise room -  I opted to put a curtain inside the playroom so that we don't have to look at the toys in the kitchen/family room.

Master bedroom - the new curtains were custom-made by my friend several months ago and I was so excited to finally hang them up in the new house!  Also, I love my blue accent wall.  I feel quite cool to actually have an accent wall to begin with.

Nursery waiting for Baby Ichabod

Ethan's room - the cityscape and road scene is almost done.  I just have to stencil in windows and road lines.



Upstairs bath - totally redone.

 So, that's it.  Most of the house projects are done for now.  The kitchen backsplash is being completed this week (and I'll be excited to show you the fairly trendy tile we picked).  I need to spray paint a mirror to hang in the master bedroom and there's a bunch of pictures that I need someone to come help me hang.  Other than that...we're all settled in.  And boy do we love this house!

The Two Year Old Food Code of Conduct

After much observation and research, I have compiled a list of some of the rules of the code regarding food that all two year olds are required to sign at some point during their time as a two year old.  My goal in compiling this list is twofold; first, that future mothers of two year olds shall be warned and prepared.  Second, that present mothers of two year olds will know that their child is, in fact, normal and that they, the mother, may maintain control of her sanity by understanding that they have not caused these behaviors.  These behaviors are innate and required.

Rule #1) At any given point, the two year old will either consume precisely two bites of food or 5 gallons of one particular item.  The amount of food to be consumed will be chosen at random.

Rule #2) The two year old lives by the creed that food was created to be destroyed rather than consumed.

Rule #3) When given a non-sippy cup, it is necessary to insert food particles in order to ascertain the exact method of dissolution. In addition, liquids may be consumed by using a spoon or by sucking drops off a fork as well. 

Rule #4) When either given parent raises a fork or spoon to take a bite, the two year old shall drop a utensil, a bite of food, a cup, or an entire plate in order to prevent nourishment to said parent, thus ensuring that they shall be weakened.

Rule #5) At any given point, the two year old will suddenly decide that a previously adored food is now completely repulsive or that a previously detested food is now the sole sustenence to be consumed.

Rule #6) Although a request to eat a few bites of vegetables or chicken will sometimes be met with resistance and an insistence that the two year old is "all done", there will always be room for cupcakes, freezepops, cookies, candy and brownies.  Adults who do not understand this concept will be viewed as delusional. 

Rule #7) Although the parent believes that the primary purpose of forks and spoons is to bring food to the mouth in a cleaner fashion, this is false.  The true purpose of forks and spoons is as drumsticks.

Rule #8) While adults generally find meals to be relaxing and an opportunity to sit down and take a break from activity, the two year old feels energy flooding their bodies when they are in their seat and consequently bounces, twists, squirms and attempts to stand up.  The parent's requirement to stay seated is viewed as a harsh prison sentence and the 2 year old is frequently reduced to tears.

Rule #9) The two year old conducts daily experiments regarding whether or not it is possible to absorb food through orifices other than the mouth, such as ears, eyes and nose.

Rule #10) It is possible to trick convince the 2 year old into eating a certain food if the adult is open to using creative methods.  For example, ketchup may make the previously disgusting pork tenderloin edible, practicing with a fork makes salmon quite tasty, adding chocolate syrup to milk may lead to its disappearance, and cutting the rejected string cheese into circles transforms it into something that apparently has a completely different taste.  The parent is permitted to use any means necessary in order to nourish her child.

This list is clearly not exhaustive; if any other expert wishes to add their observations, please do so for the edification of all mothers.

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