Can You Stop Asking Permission Now?

I suppose I should be grateful that I have such a polite and respectful son, but I'm going a little crazy here.  For the past week, Ethan has been asking permission to do every...little...everlovin'...thing. 

I pull out the basket of Matchbox cars.
"Mom?"
"Yes, Ethan?"
"Can I play with this car?"
"Yes, honey."
"Mom?"
 "Yes, Ethan?"
"Can I play with this car?"
"Yes, Ethan, you can play with every single car in that basket."
"Oh, ok.  Thank you, Mom."

I hand him his plate at breakfast.
"Mom?"
"Yes, Ethan?"
"Can I eat this waffle?"
"Yes, Ethan, please eat the waffle."
"Mom?"
"Yes, Ethan?"
"Can I eat this banana?"
"Yes."
"Mom?  Can I eat this vitamin?"
"Yes."
"Mom?  Can I eat this vitamin?"
"Yes.  I would like you to eat every vitamin and you don't even need to ask me."

Is that repetitive to read?  Yeah.  Now you know how I feel.  We're not even to the "why" stage and I would scream if I didn't remember that with a food allergy, it's a good thing that he knows to ask me before he eats something, at least at someone else's house.

Other things heard around the house lately...

~In the grocery store, Noah grabs some candy off the shelf at the checkout line.  Ethan responds with: "NOAH!  You are NOT ALLOWED to DO THAT!!!"  And the firstborn bossiness appears...

~ Noah stubs his toe and begins to cry.  Ethan gets down on his hands and knees and pats the hurt toe.  "Oh, Noah...did you hurt your toe?  I'm sorry.  It's okay, little boy.  Want me to kiss it? (kisses it) Are you okay?  Want me to kiss it again? (kisses it)

Now that I could listen to all day long.

Easter in Kentucky

Our annual trip out to northern Kentucky to visit Dave's brother and his family usually occurs over Thanksgiving.  However, since I'm due the Monday after Thanksgiving this year and clearly will not be traveling anywhere for oh, a year...we decided to head out there for Easter this year.  This year's festivities included:

A watermelon rind throwing contest.  Out of my boys, Noah wins.  That kid can throw.  Watch out for this kid in every sport available.  He will rock you.

Adult tricycle races on the deck. 

Fabulous meals

A trip to the Independence Urgent Care for this boy, who was sicker than I have ever seen him.  You know it's bad when he wakes up in the morning then climbs on the couch and tells you, "I need to sleep."  The poor kid had a double ear infection. 

Easter egg hunt...both boys loved it and actually found more eggs than were allotted to them. Noah thought his soccer ball Easter basket was completely and totally awesome.  You should have seen the amazed and excited look on his face when he saw it.  Priceless.

Lots of loot and candy.  Hmmm...I think Mommy might have to requisition those fruity Tootsie rolls.  They are sounding really good right now...at breakfast.

Great Judy got to make the trip to Kentucky for the first time ever.  It was pretty awesome to be able to go to church together and watch Brad lead the music in his fairly new role as the church's worship pastor.  Let me tell you, that church has the best audience participation EVER and an awesome pastor!  You GFC people reading this - we love your church!

Also, lots of purple shirts.

And oh yes...let's not forget about the snacks.  The snacks that will be sending everyone to the gym today for an extra long session.  It's a good thing pregnant people aren't supposed to lose weight...

Jealous?  You should be.  It was a great time.  Thanks to Brad and Janelle for hosting everyone again!

Easter Extravaganza Shenanagins

Here we are, back in northern Kentucky visiting Dave's brother Brad and his family.  So far, no trips to the ER this time, but since Ethan woke up this morning with a fever and has been sick with a cold for a week, I'm thinking we might wind up at an Urgent Care with an ear infection...why does this stuff always happen on the weekend and/or when we're out of town? 

It's funny how when you're having fun visiting family, it actually becomes harder to parent your children.  We're finding it a little tricky to maintain routines and behaviors that have become firmly engrained in our lives at home...minor things like, oh, potty training and bedtime. 

Potty training...we were doing great.  Ethan made it the whole 8 1/2 hours here wearing underwear and staying dry.  He braved the public restrooms without much of a peep (although there was much covering of the ears to avoid hearing the "loud potties").  And then we got here and somehow, he completely forgot how to use the potty.  The first day we were here, I think I changed his clothes 3 or 4 times and only had one pair of underwear left by naptime.  I guess he just wasn't in his comfort zone?  And then Dave tried to show him how to pee standing up.  Which led to this incident later that evening:

Me: (after stripping Ethan down and sending him into the bathroom to go potty)  Ok, Ethan, go sit on the potty and come back out when you're done. 
Ethan: (standing facing me in the doorway) Hey, Mom!
(I turn and look at him...he looks me directly in the eye and starts peeing). 
Me:  Ethan!  What are you doing!!!  No!  Stop!!  Stop!!! Hey! Hey!  Stop, stop, stop!!!  No, no, no!!  STOP PEEING!!!!! 
Apparently, the fact that peeing standing up involves facing the toilet did not compute during the earlier lesson.  Memories of babysitting a certain-person-who-I-shall-not-name-because-you-know-who-you-are and being chased around by a peeing child came flooding back. Ahem...but don't worry.  I'm not scarred by the incident or anything...

And then bedtime...the boys are sleeping down in the basement guestroom with us and it's worked out great.  However, the boys are not used to sleeping in the same room and have found it to be a great novelty.  The first night they conked out fairly quickly.  The second night, about 45 minutes after bedtime, I heard Noah crying.  I went down to check on him; I looked at Ethan sprawled out in his sleeping bag, seemingly asleep and then saw Noah standing up crying in his pack-n-play.  Why was he crying?  Well, somehow a dart gun, darts, a play coffee pot and plastic cup - all of which were out of his reach - had made it into the bottom of the pack-n-play and he had nowhere to lay down and sleep.  Hmmm...how did he get them?  I peeked back over at Ethan, who was now clearly awake, and asked him, "Did you give Noah the toys?"  "yes..."(sheepishly)  "Were you trying to make Noah happy?"  "Yes..."(again sheepishly)  "That was really kind, but don't give him any more toys at night, ok?"  "Ok..."  Off to sleep they went...

Last night, the boys were having so much fun, giggling and laughing and talking to each other that I had to go down there three times to tell them to settle down and go to sleep.  Ethan was out of bed and I reminded him to stay in bed.  On the third trip down there, I opened the door to see Ethan standing by the pack-n-play while they laughed and talked nonsense.  "Ethan! What are you doing?  Mommy told you to stay in bed!"
(Shaking his head) "Noah just talkin' to me.  I bein' quiet."  Sure, blame it on the 2 year old...sorry, kid, but you are the one out of bed.  Dave had to go down there one more time and pull out the Daddy Authority Card (complete with an "And I mean it!") before they settled down for the night.

Fun times, fun times...it will certainly be interesting to see how little Halfling Spence fits into all of this.  32 more weeks...

Boy Parts

Beware.  I am going to name the boy part in this post.  People, I'm a mother of boys.  I cannot get away from this thing.  It is my lot in life.

Well, Ethan finally asked me what *it* was called.  I've been avoiding calling *it* anything out of fear that the word was going to appear at the most inopportune times.  But when he asked, I knew I would have to tell him.  And I was going to tell him the real name for it, not some cutesy nickname that would be even more embarrassing when it popped out of his mouth.  So, I shoved back my prissiness and told him that *it* was called a penis.  And that was the end of the conversation...for the moment. 

The next day, Ethan was looking at this picture (from the book No, David!):

And this is what he said:  "Mom!  He has a butt!  He has a butt and a penis!" 
This is what I said: "Yes, Ethan.  Let's look at the other pictures now..."

Later that same evening, we were in the car on the way home from dinner with friends.  Enjoy the following conversation:

Me: Noah, let's tell Daddy your new word!  Can you say "salsa"?
Noah:  Salsa!
Dave:  Good job, Noah! 
Noah:  Salsa! (ha ha ha) Salsa! (ha ha ha) Salsa!
Ethan: PENIS!!!
Dave:  BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Ethan: Penis! Penis! Penis! (Dave continues laughing hysterically)

I surrender.  Please, God, give me a girl.

The Wonder of Growing a Baby

Psalm 139:14-16

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body...

The wonder and awe of knowing a real person is growing inside of you doesn't end with the third pregnancy.  This week...

...my baby is the size of a blueberry

...my baby has arms, legs, hands and feet

...my baby has eyes with pigmentation

...my baby is growing eyelids

...my baby has skin

...my baby has veins

...my baby has a liver

...my baby's liver is producing red blood cells

...my baby's brain is growing

...my baby has an appendix

...my baby has a pancreas

...my baby's intestines are growing

...my baby's heart has been beating for over a week.

Just a blob of cells? Just a uterine parasite, part of my own body that I control?

I beg to differ.

I am growing a person.  A separate, distinct person with his or her own body parts, his or her own brain, his or her own heart and his or her own personality and soul.

It's pretty amazing.

The Maternity Mug

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present...The Maternity Mug.

This mug, presented to me by my sister-in-law, has the new and dubious honor of being passed around between the pregnant women of the family.  It was found in a thrift store by my sister MaryKate and was given to me with the statement, "I'm not sure which is more awkward, the mug or the box that it comes in."  Allow me to quote from the mug box and you can decide for yourselves:

The Maternity Mug is dedicated to anyone who is a mother or has one.

The Maternity Mug was created by a woman who was pregnant at the time she "conceived" it.  As she tells it, what started out as innocent fooling around soon grew into an idea of "larger" proportions.  Some nine months later the Maternity Mug (and the creator's son) burst into the world.

Note that the Maternity Mug is light so as to cause no excess "labor" in using it.  The drink opening has been fully "dilated" for easy "delivery" of coffee or tea.  However, because of it's authentic shape, if one uses cream or sugar it may be necessary to stir both legs

The Mother-to-be will certainly enjoy the Maternity Mug for coffee breaks before her water breaks.

The Mothers-who-are will want to take a break from the duties of child-rearing using the Maternity Mug for a "pregnant pause". 

And even men can put their hands around the Maternity Mug and feel a real "kick" themselves.

I just can't bring myself to use it.  But it does make me giggle.

For Your Reading Pleasure - 4/9/11

My favorite online reading of the week..enjoy!

GypsyMama is a new favorite blog of mine.  This post - "The Best Ways *Not* to Help a New Mom" - caught my eye and made me cheer!  Yes!  Like I wrote last month, I am not a perfect housekeeper and we moms should all stop pretending that we are or feeling bad if we aren't. 

"Wisdom is not law. And wisdom is only wise when applied correctly in the right situations."  Since I've been studying Proverbs with my women's small group Bible study, that quote in this post from Practical Theology for Women really struck home.  We get so caught up in wanting a set of rules to live our lives when we just need wisdom and the Holy Spirit to guide us in applying wisdom correctly.

Those of you studying Proverbs with me in Titus II (and others) will appreciate this.  Kara at The Chuppies has a beautiful post about the power of the tongue.  Check it out.

Happy Reading!

Third Time Around - 6 Weeks

I just read an article about how no one wants to hear about all the details of everyone's pregnancy, especially on the Internet, so I promise I won't blog about it obsessively, but you know, it is a major life experience, so I can't ignore it.  I'll keep it simple. 

I am officially (according to my calculations) 6 weeks, 4 days pregnant.

Last week I was sort of feeling very very mild pregnancy symptoms.  I sometimes felt like maybe I was just talking myself into feeling pregnant.  This week...I'm seriously pregnant.

I'm incredibly tired.  I keep trying to take a nap, but since Ethan doesn't, I usually end up just pushing through the exhaustion.

I can't run more than 3 miles and even that's EXTREMELY difficult. I had high hopes of being able to run the Apple Blossom 10K while pregnant, but that was before I got pregnant.  I've decided to skip it.  I think I could pull off a 5K, but 6.2 miles is just beyond me right now.

I am beyond starving.  I feel like I just can't get enough food in my body.  I eat and an hour later I'm shaky and feeling like I'm going to pass out I'm so hungry and lightheaded.  At least this isn't my first trip to the rodeo, so I knew enough to head to the grocery store and stock up on protein bars, cheese (for more protein), ginger ale, ginger tea, juice and lots of fruit before all this hit me. I can never decide what I feel like eating and the only thing that has actually made my mouth water is pickles.  Stereotypical, I know, but there you go.

I've been nauseous every day for the past week and a half, which is more than both pregnancies combined.  I cannot let myself get even the slightest bit hungry or I'm immediately nauseous.  I've been living on ginger ale and saltines.  It's a good thing there's no such thing as Fetal Ginger Ale Syndrome.

And then there was today.  ***MEDICAL TMI ALERT***  This morning I woke up with mild cramping and light spotting and FREAKED OUT.  The cramping alone would not have bothered me, nor would the spotting alone.  I've had both in previous pregnancies and it's been fine.  It was the combination that scared me.  I called the OB as soon as the office opened and they had me come in for a blood test to measure my HCG level (known in laymen's terms as The Pregnancy Hormone); the nurse said that I would have to come back on Monday for another blood test and as long as my levels were increasing, everything was fine.  Sounds like a nice relaxing weekend, huh?  I did go in for the blood test, and was told to call back around 3:00 to see what the results were.  I waited until precisely 3:08 and then I called.  The nurse said this: "Oh, Elizabeth!  You are fine.  You are very pregnant.  Your numbers [of hcg] are over 30,000, which is as high as my machine will count. So, you are very pregnant."  Huge sigh of relief.  And no one needs to point out (as my sister so thoughtfully did) that the high numbers could mean that I'm pregnant with twins.  I am just not even going to think about it.  In fact, I'm just going to pretend that no one even suggested it.  Yes, moving on...la de da...

Third Time Around

November 28th, 2011

Bring it on.

I was going to wait until my doctor's appt to say anything publically, but this is my life and I write about my life.  If I have a miscarriage in the meantime (which is something I'm absolutely paranoid about right now), I would need the cathartic experience of writing about it as well.  So, there you go...yea!  I'm pregnant!  Again!

How Marriage Has Changed Me - Friendship

I started to write a post about my thoughts on friendship and as I wrote it, it morphed into a self-evaluation of how marriage to Dave has changed me in that regard.  It made me think about how marriage has changed me in general.  I believe that God is sovereign over our lives and our relationships, and that He sometimes puts people directly in our lives for the specific purpose of weeding out pieces of our personalities or characters that were destructive or ungodly.  There's a lot of ways in which being married to Dave Spence has changed me, but I'll just start here: 

Friendship is one of those areas where I think I've grown quite a bit over the years. I've always found building relationships to be work and consequently, I have a smaller circle of close friends.  It can take a while for me to be completely open and share my true self, but once you're in, I'm very loyal.  I used to really struggle with being able to initiate conversation and felt extremely awkward with the whole small talk thing.  I've almost needed to be friends with someone who was more outgoing than me so that actual conversation would occur.  In fact, during my last year teaching at Musselman High School, I was voted the Quietest Staff Member.  If you know me well, you know I hate the greeting time at church because it's slightly awkward to me to have a conversation with people I don't know from Adam.  While I love my friends, being introverted makes me feel exhausted after being around people for a long time and I really seriously need alone time in order to recharge. (And no, this has nothing to do with being homeschooled for 10 years.)

In a strange twist, I've also been slightly outspoken and I struggle with being judgmental and overly critical.  That doesn't work very well in friendship.  I've made huge mistakes in saying the wrong thing, cutting off friendships for very trivial reasons, condemning friends for simply being different, and just plain not thinking before I speak.  At one point, I had pulled back from so many relationships and criticized so many people that I realized I actually had no close friends.  That was a long period of going back and repairing relationships and I'm thankful that everyone has forgiven me and those relationships are stronger than they ever were. 

Now let me tell you about my husband.  Dave is extremely outgoing and consequently, has a large group of friends.  He has a very empathetic heart; he rejoices with those who rejoice and mourns with those who mourn.  He's great at intiating conversations and drawing out even the shyest person in the room.  And the best part of that is that Dave really cares about all the answers to the "small talk" conversations and questions - it's not just a way to get people talking.  He always believes the best about people, accepts people for who they are and wants to help them in any way he can. 

Clearly, this is a huge difference to navigate in a marital relationship. This was something Dave and I really struggled with early in our marriage.  He wanted to hang out with people all the time and I wanted to be alone or alone with him.  He wanted to invite people over and the preparations for that stressed me out.  We would go to social gatherings (mostly with his friends since I moved to his hometown) and he would leave me at the table alone (or I would park myself at the table alone, depending on how you look at it).  I didn't know what to say to a lot of his friends so I just didn't talk to them; needless to say, that really frustrated him. 

I'm not sure when it changed.   It might have been when we finally found godly mentors share our struggles with.  Mentors who modeled successful marriages.  Mentors who considered their spouse's needs above their own.  I remember my mother in law telling me about an area she used to struggle with and how she prayed that God would change her personality.  I remember thinking that I never knew God could do that, and I prayed the same thing.  In any case, our struggle with friendships did change.  A lot.  At one point, we were so miserable in this area that it became apparent that we were both going to have to see things from each other's perspective and try to operate in ways that were very unnatural for us.  I started watching Dave and trying to figure out how in the heck he managed to initiate and maintain a friendship with someone he had never met.  Then I hesitantly began to implement his strategies.  Guess what?  It works!  And after much practice, I feel a degree of comfort in small talk.  I don't feel stressed in a social environment anymore. 

God has also convicted me in the area of judging others towards accepting them, sins and differences and all.  Dave's open acceptance of others - myself included - was one of the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place.  He was the first person with whom I felt it was ok to simply be me, no strings attached.  I'm not very good at this non-judging thing yet, but I'm thankful that God put with me with someone who continually reminds me to look at situations from the other person's perspective and to not personalize every little thing.

On Dave's side, he stopped leaving me alone in social gatherings.  Well, for a while.  Now he can leave me alone to have his own conversations and know I'm fine.  But when we started working on it, he just stayed by my side and tried to initiate conversation topics that he knew would make me feel comfortable.  He's also gotten more considerate about inviting people over; he usually gives me a heads-up or runs it by me first so that I'm less stressed.  I will admit that in this area, I need to work on a little spontaneity. 

It's pretty cool how God uses marriage to shape our characters and personalities.  I know that the typical modern day view of marriage is, "I change for no man! (or woman!)" but I'm pretty convinced that that probably doesn't lead to very successful marriages.  Independence never produces unity. 

So, how about you?  Have you changed through the experience of being married?  How so?

My Heartbreaker

You know how there are just certain outfits that you put your kids in where they look especially cute?  The outfits that make you want to grab them and kiss their little faces off?  The outfits are not necessarily anything that any other mother would think is cute but it doesn't matter. 

Noah Joseph is killing me with his cuteness lately.  Killing me with his "Hi, Mom!"when I walk into the room...with his certain answer of "sure" when you ask if he wants to do something...with his little dimply elbows...with his mischievous glances...with his lips clenched in determination to accomplish something...with the way his feathery blond hair has a blowout every single morning.

I put this "new" hand-me-down sweatshirt on him the other day and it turned into a photo shoot.  No one will enjoy it as much as I did, but I don't care.  Just pretend. 

For Your Reading Pleasure

If you're looking for some good, interesting, challenging or fun reading this weekend, check out these links:

Daily On My Way to Heaven is starting a series entitled "Doctrine in the Kitchen" where different women will be digging into the Word of God and writing about Biblical doctrines. Every week, they will also be publishing various resources for individual study.  Check out the introduction here.  In the future, you'll find the button on the sidebar of my blog if you want to click through to it. 

Tim Challies reviews a book that's been getting some buzz in the Christian (and non-Christian, I would imagine) community.  No, not Love Wins (good heavens, enough already).  Heaven Is For Real is the story of a 4 year old boy who supposedly died and went to heaven.  The review is worth reading to provoke thought even if you read the book and loved it. 

And just for fun...I read this last week and it's a few weeks old, but it's still cute.  Liz at Mabel's House blogs about the unrealistic ways that pop songs express sacrificial love in Don't Catch a Grenade, Tie My Shoes.

Happy Reading!