First Haircut

I've tried to cut Ethan's hair myself when it got unruly, but with not so spectacular results. This time we decided to take Ethan to the barber shop to get it cut. It was pretty out of control. It was so long in the back that I could pull it into a tiny ponytail and sometimes it looked like a mullet. Not good. So this morning, Dave took Ethan to get his first official haircut. Ethan did great and even came back with a First Haircut Certificate and an envelope of the leftover hair. He looks much better!

(Before haircut)

(With Daddy in the barber shop)

(Post haircut - p.s. the mark on his forehead is from him tripping while running and landing smack on top of his sippy cup; you can even see the holes from the sucking part. Oh, and I had to change his shirt in between the before and after pictures because he decided it would be really fun to drink his milk and watch it all dribble out of his mouth and onto his shirt and the floor. Nice, huh?)

Breastfeeding Woes

I realize that my blogging hasn't been terribly positive lately and I really appreciate all the encouragement from the veteran mothers. I just forgot how hard this newborn stage is. Right now I'm very frustrated with breastfeeding. I keep trying to convince myself that it's fine and it will improve. But quite honestly, I am not one of those mothers who thinks breastfeeding is a divine bonding experience. I like it about as much as I enjoy sleeping during the last month of pregnancy. Yeah, not much. I know I am not required to nurse. I know that Noah will be fine if I don't. The only reason I am doing it is because I know it's the healthiest for the baby. Currently, I'm shooting for 6 months and then plan on switching to formula. I'm already stockpiling formula when it goes on sale.

My problem (and I think I had the same problem with Ethan) is that I think I have a very forceful letdown on one side. This makes Noah react with gasping and choking and I wind up drenched in milk because it doesn't just stop when he unlatches. It just gushes out. What ends up happening is that after he chokes and gasps, he decides he doesn't want anything to do with nursing PERIOD. Nothing I do peaks his interest in it again. It's very frustrating, especially when it happens for every single feeding. And it doesn't help that I'm still dealing with out of whack hormones and sleep deprivation. I sort of feel that there's something wrong with me and I'm being personally rejected when he doesn't nurse well. I know theoretically that it's not true, but it's not easy to convince myself of that at 3am. I've tried expressing some milk a little when it lets down, but he's still not interested. The last trick I tried was nursing while leaning back really far so that his head and body were elevated, thus using gravity to slow down the flow. It worked once, so we'll see if it works again. I'm just hoping that my milk supply evens out soon and settles down to where he needs it. Some websites I've read say that it can take up to 3 months for that to happen, and in my opinion, that's a loooonnnggg way away! If anyone has had this experience and has other suggestions, I'm open!

3 Weeks In

Three weeks into the Multiple Child Experience and the general feeling is exhaustion. It's hard to tell whether it's the newborn or the toddler who makes me more tired. Noah seems to be a much needier baby than Ethan; Ethan just sat around observing for hours, so much so that his lack of interest in sleep worried me a little. If Noah is awake, he will only sit alert and happy for a few minutes before he starts fussing or crying. Luckily, the middle of the night feeding is getting better. He's already down to one feeding and then getting up again around 7. This gives me hope that sleeping through the night is somewhere in the near future. I'm looking forward to catching up on my sleep. I remember that I finally started to feel like I actually liked Ethan after I wasn't so tired. That's one of those things people don't tell you - that you don't necessarily fall desperately in love with your baby in the delivery room and you're not a bad mother if you feel indifferent towards the baby for a while. I really think it takes several weeks for you to start to get to know them and not be so tired before that feeling of I-Love-You-So-Much-It-Hurts kicks in. I'm still trying to convince myself that I don't need to stress about breastfeeding. Noah nurses for a much much shorter time than Ethan did, which makes me worry he's not getting enough. But I'm changing lots of "nice" diapers, he's filling out his clothes, he goes 3+ hours between feedings, and he gained weight at his checkup last week, so he's probably fine.

Ethan is literally into EVERYTHING. I feel like I need eyes keeping a lookout in every direction. Yesterday, I let him play with the laundry basket to keep him away from the laundry I was folding and he used it to climb up onto the coffee table. And then when I was nursing, he decided to climb up onto his toybox. And then I had to get up with a child attached to my breast to get him down. Sigh...

I'm trying not to feel guilty about the lack of tasks I'm accomplishing during the day. It really is all I can do to take a shower, feed both kids, clean up toys (50 million times a day), make the bed, clean up the kitchen after meals, and ummm, that's it. I'm soooo thankful for the meals that our community group and Titus II group have been bringing. I'm not sure I have the mental capacity for planning a menu right now. And I still haven't figured out how I'm going to go grocery shopping with both kids. We went to Target today and I had about 6 inches of space for the items I needed to buy. Maybe I'll just do it when Dave's home??

Checkups

Pediatrician
Ok, so I think every new mother-of-two-children deserves a medal for the first time they venture out with BOTH children in tow. I certainly feel like I conquered...something. Today was Noah's first checkup at 2 weeks old. Dave helped me get organized and load the kids (the KIDS!!!!!) into their carseats and off I went. Let me tell you, it was quite a feat to get both of them into the pediatrician's office. I had the infant carseat in one arm, the diaper bag hanging on the opposite shoulder and Ethan's hand in my other hand. Poor Ethan fell twice on his way up to the door because of the awkwardness of the wrangling. Luckily, we were put into a room fairly quickly so that we were all contained. But then, I had to strip Noah and take him out to be weighed. Ethan followed but then started exploring Dr. Schiavone's hallways so I had to chase him. When we went back into the exam room, I walked in and totally forgot about Ethan, who took the opportunity to tromp back into the waiting area. After about 2 seconds, I said, "Oh, wait, where's my other kid?" The nurse went chasing after him all while the receptionists were laughing at me and assuring me "Don't worry, honey! You'll get the hang of it!" Then on the way out (wrangling both kids again), a random mother in the waiting room asked me how far apart Ethan and Noah are (14 months). She responded by pointing at her kids running around and saying, "11 months". Oh...my...gosh...I CANNOT imagine. Very nice woman though - she assured me that "it does get easier". Thank goodness...I'm exhausted.

Noah's stats are: Weight 7 lbs 10 oz (his hospital discharge weight was 6lbs 11 oz). Length: 20 inches (up a 1/2 inch). What does this mean to me? This means that I can stop stressing about breastfeeding. I have been so stressed about breastfeeding because Noah will only nurse for a maximum of 15 minutes total and it really did not seem like long enough to me. Apparently, he is an extremely efficient nurser because he is clearly getting enough to eat.

OBGYN
Today was also my 2 week checkup (I think only c-sectioners get this privilege). Last week I had my staples out and this week I just had an incision check. TMI Alert: The day after I had my stitches out, I noticed that the edges of my incision had separated. Of course, this would freak anyone out and I frantically called the doctor (partly freaking out because of my incision issue last time around - it opened and oozed pus 4 months postpartum). The doctor assured me that although it looks like I have an open wound, it is actually closed; it's just the outside edges that are separated. He also said that this happens very frequently with repeat c-sections because it's scar tissue that is healing together and that doesn't heal as quickly. He told me to keep it clean and dry and watch to make sure it didn't ooze anything. Anyway, Dr. Lowder checked it and said it looked fine and that it might just take longer to heal than my first incision did. I am also totally cleared to drive and to do anything (not too strenuous). So people can stop yelling at me to not lift Ethan AT ALL (ha!) or walk up stairs AT ALL. I'm allowed now.

How We're Doing - Week One

Let's see if I can answer all the Frequently Asked Questions...

1) How is breastfeeding going? Oh, SOOOO much better than the first time!!! It's nice to know what I'm doing this time. And I'm not so stressed about following all the book advice. This time, it's whatever works. I was able to single-handedly latch Noah on in the hospital a few hours after birth. He nursed very well in the hospital and has continued that pattern since coming home. In fact, (knock on wood), he seems to have already put himself on a routine; for the past 3-4 days, he has woken up hungry and nursed at pretty much the same time every day. He seems to be an "all-business" nurser - he latches on and guzzles milk without taking a breath and seems to get all he needs in a total of about 15 minutes. I still have some soreness during the latch on, but I know that will fade soon.
2) How is he sleeping? He is a great sleeper so far. He goes to bed around 11pm and wakes up around 1:30/2, 4:00, and then sometimes 6 am. Last night, he slept straight through until 4am and didn't wake up until 8:30. That gave me 6 full hours of blissful sleep.
3) How are you feeling? I'm definitely feeling better than last time. Not having 40 hours/2 days of labor preceding a c-section is the way to go. I've been trying to take advantage of having my mom here by taking lots of naps and not going up and down the stairs all the time. I've had some moments of panic and tears, feeling like "I don't think I can do this two kid thing by myself". I go to get my staples taken out today so that will be nice - it's pretty wierd to feel these metal things holding my skin together.
4) What does Ethan think about the baby? The first few days, he was just kind of curious. Then he started to realize that Noah is not going away and got a little ornery. He's a pretty good kid, so it's not like he started throwing tantrums or anything, but he has seemed to digress from all the training this past week. He hasn't been listening to instructions as well as usual and has suddenly started getting into all the trouble that he had been trained away from (i.e. stereo and TV buttons, climbing the stairs by himself). He's had a great time playing with his Nana and has really bonded with her. The latest thing is that he has started whining/crying at the slightest thing, maybe realizing that it seems to work for Noah!

5) Is Dave excited about having another boy? Oh my goodness, YES! He is so proud of his sons. He has been so supportive too. In the middle of the night when I'm feeding or changing a diaper, he sometimes just reaches over and rubs my back to let me know I'm not alone. He's also enjoying snuggling with Noah at night when he comes home from work.
6) Do you have people helping you? Yep. My mom has been here all week cooking, cleaning, taking care of Ethan, holding Noah so I can take a shower or nap, reassuring me that I can, in fact, take care of two kids by myself. Next week, I'll be on my own, but I'll have meals coming for about 3 weeks. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that!! I've also had people call and stop by to check on me so that's good. But seriously, please pray for me next week. The postpartum hormones have been mostly held in check while I have so much help, but I anticipate a flood next week. Also, if anyone wants to stop by and keep me from crying, please call! I'll take you up on it!!

The Birth Story

Well, here it is Day 6 and I'm finally getting around to blogging. Not so much because I've been completely occupied with the baby, but because my computer has been acting very strangely. Most of you know that I was scheduled for a c-section on Friday, Jan 30, but I thought I would pass on some more of the details.

Thursday Night...we spent our last night as a family of three. Got Ethan ready for bed and then took him over to Grandpa and Grandma Spence's for the night. Since we had to be at the hospital at 7am, we thought it would easier to not have to worry about getting him ready at the same time. Although we probably should have gone to bed early, we ended up sitting around watching "The Cosby Show" while I tried to shove as much food and liquid into my stomach as possible before my cut-off time of midnight.

Friday morning...After somehow managing to get a few hours of sleep despite my anxiety and excitement, we left for the hospital exactly on time (probably something to do with not getting a toddler ready). We went up to labor and delivery and got started on the surgery prep. This long process involves urine sample, weight check (40 lbs total gain - exactly what I gained with Ethan), undressing into gorgeous hospital gown, getting hooked up to IV fluids, getting blood drawn, being put on baby/contraction monitors, answering lots of medical history questions, getting my belly shaved, having my belly washed with antiseptic solution, etc. Dave got to put on the space suit that he had to wear in the OR too. At this point we were pretty relaxed and chatting with the nurses. Jill, the charge nurse, commented on how I had "the perfect haircut" for having a baby (i.e. no work involved) and was admiring my organization (having the baby book marked and ready for the baby footprints). She laughed a little at my admission of having 5 pages of typed instructions for my mom while taking care of Ethan, but then also admitted that she had typed a full page of care instructions for her cat while she was away recently. There was another woman in the recovery (prep) room also waiting for a scheduled c-section before me, so when I heard her come back at about 8:45, I started to get nervous, knowing that I would be walking over to surgery soon.

At about 9 am, the nurse put another gown on me to use as a robe so I could walk down the hall to the OR. Dave and I walked down there together, with me holding onto my IV pole with the leg compression cuffs on (to prevent blood clots from being immobile). When we got to the OR, Dave had to wait in the OR waiting area while they finished up my surgery prep and did my spinal. Walking into the OR, I was immediately FREEZING COLD! Apparently, they have to keep the temperature very low for the surgeons who are wearing extra layers of clothing - don't exactly want them sweating into the incision area. I climbed up onto the operating table and sat sideways so the anesthesiologist could do my spinal. I was pretty nervous about this part. Last time I had an epidural, I was pretty drugged up and in pain, so I didn't feel a thing and frankly didn't care. This time, I was alert and knew I would feel it. Luckily, I had a great nurse who held me in the correct arched back position, put blinders with her hands around my face so I wouldn't see the needle and talked me through it. I did have to breathe through it because it felt very strange and did burn a bit. As soon as the meds were inserted, they very quickly laid me down and started hooking me up to the other tubes - catheter, oxygen, blood pressure monitor, etc. I started to feel a little nauseous pretty immediately, but the anesthesiologist quickly got that under control. Once they got the sterile screen up, they brought Dave in and he sat down next to me at my head. Very shortly after that, they started pricking me with needles to make sure I was numb, and then began the surgery. It's very strange to know that you are being cut open, let me tell you. It's a good thing I couldn't see anything. I felt some pressure in my chest, indicating that they were inside, digging around for the baby. A few minutes later, the anesthesiologist motioned for Dave to stand up so he could see the baby being born and I heard the baby cry a little while they sucked out his mouth. Dave's eyes were pretty lit up and I could tell he thought it was awesome to actually see this child be born (he didn't get to watch Ethan's birth because I was such a wreck). The anesthesiologist tried to take a picture but the camera wasn't working, so while the baby's head was still sticking out of the incision, the nurses had to scramble around the room to find the other camera. Once they found that, they pulled him the rest of the way out and Noah Joseph Spence was officially born at 9:28am. The whole time, the anesthesiologist kept making comments about how the baby looked like a girl, which threw me off because I knew I was having a boy. And Dave suspected it was a boy too, so he kept giving me confused looks. But of course, by now you know that it was indeed a boy. Although I felt somewhat emotional and teary when we went into the OR, when Noah was born, I was so happy that I didn't cry at all. I was just so excited for Dave to know that he had TWO BOYS!!

He cried A LOT when they pulled him out and brought him over to the exam table. Dave walked over to watch them do their exam of the baby and they let him cut the cord (also something he didn't get to do with Ethan). Once they were finished doing the APGAR scores and cleaning Noah off, Dave went with the nurses to the nursery while I was sewed up and stapled shut. Once that was done, they wheeled me back to recovery so I could rest. At this point, I felt pretty good. Actually, I felt nothing at all, thanks to IV pain meds and the spinal that stuck around for a few hours. Dave made all the phone calls and I actually got to make one call too, which I didn't get to do at all last time, again because I was so drugged up and it was 2 am the last time. Noah officially weighed 7 lbs 3 oz (Ethan was 7lbs 4 oz) and was 19 1/2 inches long (Ethan was 20 inches long). He has a good bit of hair, but it's a lighter brown and not quite as thick as Ethan's (his was very very thick black hair).

That day I felt pretty good pain-wise, but that spinal must have really thrown the rest of my system off because I couldn't keep any fluids down all...day...long. Every time I would sit upright in the bed, I would feel nauseous. I did get to nurse Noah (and breastfeeding has gone AMAZINGLY this time around - probably because at least one of us knows what we're doing this time), but it was hard to ignore the nausea. Finally, after 14 hours of that, the nurse finally gave me some anti-nausea medicine that completely knocked it out and I felt fine after that. That night, I basically got no sleep. Dave stayed at the hospital with me since I couldn't get out of bed (still hooked up to catheter, IV drugs, leg compression cuffs) and he didn't get any sleep either. I realize that the nurses, techs, etc, are there to monitor my health, but seriously, how can they expect you to recover if they refuse to let you alone to sleep? At 4am, they decided it was time I got out of bed. 4 am!!!!!! Really? We couldn't have done this at a time NOT in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!?!

Once I was unhooked the next day, I got to take a shower, move around the room and I felt like a completely different person. Plus, Noah got circumcised that morning, so I was alone in the room for a while and then he was conked out for hours afterwards. I got to have some visitors (YEA!!) who brought chocolate, flowers and gifts and that was really nice. That second night, a woman from church stopped by the room; she's a NICU nurse and happened to be on that night and graciously offered to come take Noah to the NICU so I could sleep. Wonderful, wonderful woman. She must have told the nurses to stay away too because not a soul entered my room that night. I actually got about 4 hours of restful sleep.

Sunday morning...the OB came in and asked it I was ready to get out of there to which I replied with a resounding "Yes, please!". He discharged me, Dr Schiavone (pediatrician) discharged Noah and we went home around 1:30 pm that day. More about Ethan and how it's been at home later...I need to take a shower...